Resilience Isn’t Just Pushing Through... It’s Knowing When to Rest
When people talk about resilience, they often mean grit… the ability to keep pushing forward no matter what. It’s a quality that gets praised in athletes, entrepreneurs, and leaders. The idea is that if you’re tough enough, you can power through anything. But here’s the problem: pushing through is not the same as being resilient.
Real resilience isn’t just about endurance. It’s about recognising when to pull back and recover so you don’t burn out completely. It’s about adaptability, not just persistence.
This is something I’ve learned the hard way. I’ve dealt with burnout, depression, cancer, and chronic conditions like fibromyalgia, all of which have forced me to reassess what resilience really means. I used to think it was about ignoring the signs of exhaustion and just keeping going. Frankly, that approach fucked me up. Now I know it’s about managing your energy, not just spending it.
So in this article, I want to share how I approach resilience differently these days, why adaptive resilience is more sustainable than just grinding through, and how you can apply this mindset shift to your own life.
Why 'Pushing Through' Can Backfire
The idea of ‘just keep going’ is everywhere… ‘hustle culture’ has gotten worse over the years. But let’s talk about why this can actually be counterproductive and even dangerous.
Chronic stress depletes your reserves. Your body doesn’t know the difference between training stress, work stress, and emotional stress, it just registers the load. If you’re constantly pushing without recovering, you’re burning through energy faster than you can replenish it.
You become less effective. Fatigue affects focus, decision-making, and performance. When you’re exhausted, your productivity drops, your risk of injury increases, and your ability to handle setbacks gets worse.
You risk long-term burnout. Ignoring the warning signs doesn’t make them go away… it just means that when you finally do crash, you crash hard. When this happens, it can take a seriously long time to recover. We’re talking months, or even years. I was unable to work or exercise for 6 months after each of my burnouts.
True resilience isn’t just about how long you can last, it’s about knowing when to pause, recover, and come back stronger.
The Adaptive Resilience Model: Learning When to Push, When to Recover
If you look at elite athletes, their training isn’t just about intensity - it’s about strategic recovery, deload phases, and periodisation to maximise long-term performance. Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian of all time, spends more time on recovery than on training. Life works the same way.
I use a three-phase model for managing resilience sustainably:
1. Recognition: Spot the early signs of depletion
Feeling constantly drained (mentally or physically)?
Struggling with brain fog, irritability, or decision fatigue?
Finding it harder to recover from workouts or stress?
These are warning signs that your system is overloaded.
2. Recovery: Actively restoring your energy
Prioritising deep rest, not just more sleep (NSDR, time outdoors, actual downtime)
Using active recovery (light movement, stretching, breathwork) instead of full stagnation
Replenishing nutrition, hydration, and mental clarity
3. Re-engagement: Returning stronger, not just ‘getting by’
Using a gradual approach instead of trying to jump straight back in (I once injured myself on the first day back in the gym after the exact same injury, because I didn’t phase back in)
Tracking your energy levels and performance so you can adjust accordingly
Rebuilding momentum without overloading yourself again
Key takeaway: Resilience isn’t just about endurance. It’s about strategic energy management.
Practical Strategies to Stay Resilient Without Burning Out
So how do you build resilience without pushing yourself into the ground?
✅ Build Recovery Into Your Routine
Most people only think about recovery after they crash. The key is to bake it into your lifestyle. You’ve probably heard the phrase ‘a stitch in time saves nine’, right? Well here’s another one: if you don’t schedule a break, your body will take one for you… and it probably won’t be at a convenient time’ 🤷🏼♂️
Deload periods in training (lighter sessions, active recovery days)
Scheduled breaks from high-output tasks (deep work cycles, downtime)
Daily micro-recoveries (breathwork, stretching, short walks)
✅ Recognise the Signs of Overload Early
If your workouts feel constantly exhausting instead of challenging, it’s a sign you need to adjust.
If you’re mentally foggy or struggling with focus, your brain is fatigued, not your body.
If you’re waking up still tired every day, your recovery isn’t working.
The sooner you identify these red flags, the easier it is to correct course before you hit burnout.
✅ Use Micro-Recoveries to Stay Resilient
NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest): Short rest sessions that help reset the nervous system
Cold exposure + heat therapy: Small stressors that improve overall resilience
Low-intensity movement: Walking, stretching, mobility drills to aid recovery
✅ Know Your Personal 'Fuel Sources'
Some people recharge through movement, others through quiet time.
Some need social connection, others need solitude.
Some thrive on creative outlets, others on structured downtime.
Identify what actually recharges you (don’t just pick up what others use and assume it’ll work for you) and make it non-negotiable.
✅ Redefine Resilience
Resilience isn’t about never stopping. It’s about knowing when to step back so you can come back stronger.
Final Thoughts: Burnout-Proofing Your Resilience
The biggest lesson I’ve learned? You don’t have to break yourself to be strong.
Resilience isn’t just about forcing yourself forward - it’s about knowing when to stop, adjust, and rebuild.
If you’ve been feeling drained, instead of asking ‘How do I keep going?’ ask yourself:
‘What do I need to restore my strength?’
‘How can I come back better instead of just surviving?’
Sustainable resilience is a long game… learn how to play it properly.
🔒 For Paid Subscribers: The Resilience Check-In Guide
A simple, actionable self-assessment tool to gauge where you’re at physically, mentally, and emotionally. This will help you identify early signs of burnout and adjust before you crash.
✔️ Quick 5-minute check-in framework
✔️ Key questions to reflect on your energy levels, stressors, and capacity
✔️ A structured way to course-correct before burnout sets in
Find the download link below the paywall 👇🏼
And if you’re interested in amplifying your resilience with some one-to-one coaching, drop me an email.