Resilience Doesn’t Always Feel Strong: Notes from a Period of Depression
This week’s been a bit of a rough one. Not dramatic, not catastrophic, just heavy. I’ve been living with depression for over two decades, and while most weeks I can keep it at bay or ride it out, sometimes it gets under my skin. This was one of those weeks.
And yet, I’m still here. Still writing. Still building. Still growing (literally and metaphorically).
Resilience isn’t about being unaffected. It’s about building a life that includes the hard weeks. That accommodates struggle without falling apart. That bends and flexes instead of snapping. And (most importantly) isn’t trying to be perfect.
This week’s musings are not supposed to replace professional help, they are just some thoughts from my own experiences. If you are finding things hard right now, please reach out to someone for help, such as Samaritans.
What Depression Has Taught Me About Real Resilience
Most mainstream narratives about resilience centre on bouncing back, powering through, or staying upbeat. The gurus still vomit their toxic positivity all over social media, and many companies and governments have co-opted the word ‘resilience’ to try and force individual solutions to systemic problems.
It would be great if ‘just think positive’ did the trick, but depression doesn’t work like that. It drags. It blunts. It distorts. And it makes even the smallest tasks feel monumental.
And that’s where the real test of resilience lies… not in being unbreakable, but in:
Showing up imperfectly.
Doing the bare minimum, just surviving, and being okay with that.
Knowing the storm will pass, even when you can’t feel it.
What’s Helped Me (This Week & In General)
Here are a few things that have helped me stay grounded, and even still move forward, while struggling:
Systems, Not Willpower: On good days, I prep for the bad days. This includes things like food, meals, work, chores, etc.
Micro-Actions: If a full workout feels impossible, I’ll just hang from the pull-up bar for 20 seconds. If the garden’s overwhelming, I’ll do one tiny job, or even just observe what’s happening out there. These count.
Disconnecting Guilt from Productivity: I remind myself: being less ‘productive’ when depressed isn’t failure, it’s adaptive behaviour. I gotta be honest though, I find this one VERY fucking hard.
Nature Contact: Even if it’s just a few minutes with my hands in the soil, a short dog walk, or standing outside with a brew — grounding to the real world helps me feel less stuck in my own head.
Mutual Support: A message from a mate. A shared post that resonates. Realising that I’m not alone.
How This Links Back to Functional Resilience
Functional Resilience, as I’ve defined it, isn’t some hyper-optimised lifestyle. In fact, I cannot bloody stand the word ‘optimal’. It’s about:
Building a buffer zone for when life’s kicking your arse.
Creating systems that don’t collapse when you need to hide under a duvet.
Accepting that recovery, setbacks, and stillness are part of the process.
It’s resilience with depression, not in spite of it.
If you’ve been struggling lately too — with low mood, stress, grief, fatigue, whatever form it takes — I see you. You’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’re practicing a different kind of strength.
Has your mental health affected your own sense of preparedness or resilience? What helps you stay grounded when it gets heavy? What works for each of us will be different, but we can always learn from each other.
Feel free to hit reply or leave a comment, I’d love to hear how others approach this.
🖤